i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Randomize
