I can tuck mytits in my pants
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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