just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
