All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
