i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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