Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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