Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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