did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
