He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
