yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
