Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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