I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
