My underwear smells like fireworks.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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