Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
