Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
