And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
