So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
