Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
