i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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