This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Life is so much better after having sex.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
