I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
