Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I think your dad took our porno
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
