I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
