people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
