mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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