Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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