Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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