She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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