I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
