Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
