I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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