I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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