You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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