I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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