Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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