I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
