I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
