If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
