She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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