you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
