is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
