took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
