I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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