I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
