My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
