He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
