nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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