Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
