Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
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