My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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