Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
