Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
